CHALK TALK NEWS
Feb 24, 2012 posted by Josh Angulo-Bartlett
Every year around this time, the NFL brings their over-the-top Broadway show to Indy for what I refer to as the Naked Olympics a.k.a the Scouting Combine. Front office personal from each NFL team can usually be spotted eating a Porterhouse steak paired with a 80%-marked up Bordeaux at St. Elmo’s Steakhouse after analyzing 300+ pound men in their underwear for 10 hours. They will ask questions like, “Which offensive lineman ran through the tires fastest?” Which WR caught the most balls from the juggs machine in 30 seconds? Or my personal favorite, the 40 yard dash, which has made plenty of burners some cash while sending other potential first rounders tumbling into the 3rd round with a subpar time. But what does that have to do with playing football on the field you ask? Great question.
I mean, what does it matter if the guy can run a 4.20 on turf in his Under Armour briefs? My question would be, what does he run when he is chasing down a Joe Flacco bomb with pads on and a 6’3″ corner draped all over him? And I get the NFL scouts want to see what kinda of feet these massive beasts posses, but come on, the tire bit, really? Side note, why is it that all of the fat lineman have to take their shirts off exposing their full racks for the world to see? Isn’t it cut-’em up season? And speaking of you, Combine watcher, you really need another hobby. Because as the King of the sports nerds and a self-appointed NFL crack buyer, I won’t let my remote even graze by the Naked Olympics. Instead I will be locked in on Nick Jr. watching the hottie from the Fresh Beat Band.
And this year the NFL has blown the top off the coverage. NFL Network sent over 100 camera’s for the show and countless analysts to break down the broad jump. Hell, there is even a mini radio row as sports station GMs are dying for more of the NFL drug to sell to their advertisers. And of course the NFL is getting into the act selling 200 TICKETS to this hacky event. Watching this naked skills competition is one thing from the comforts of your living room, but if you buy a ticket you need to re-evaluate you life and mix in some new hobbies. #loser